Fuck ! Im supposed to be doing my f&n coursework now but im so fucking distracted. I see the bed, i wanna sleep. I`ve checked my friendster a thousand million times and yet, i can log in log out again and again. Hahs.

Anyways, went to Junction8 with baby ytd. Accompanied her to eat. After eating, we sat at MOS burger and all our craziness started again. Hahs. Marcus called me. Facing some probs with his GF. Dont know to say if im supposed to be happy or not, but im glad he still calls me when he has probs ! ;D Aites, whats meant to be mine will be mine luhs. Just wanna let you know boy, that i will always be here for you yeah? I`ve told you before when we were tgt, i will ALWAYS be there for you. Just a call away =D Im still the bestzxzx ! hahs. I miss you ass ;( Boo!


Complete and total adoration,My gift to you, my heart was yours.In ten weeks you shaped it, In one night you murdered it.Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,That first step that you took was the worst.Since then you've walked a thousand miles in silence and short remark,And I still have these memories,But we'll never see what we could have been.Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?Remember. cause that's all you can do.We`ll never make another memory,We'll never make another memory.I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together,So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.This time I thought things were real.You said they were.What happened?You were a priority, Was I an option?I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,I'm sorry that wasn't enough.So, we'll go our own ways,And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,But I guess I've learned from it.But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?I don't consider this a mistake,I just wish the story didn't end this way,Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it. Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?


Fuck boy.When are you gonna unbreak my heart? Hais. You said you`ll never let me go, just like i said i wouldnt let you go. U went back on your promise. I have not. Im still not letting you go....just not that easily.

Anyhoos, pictures pictures !









Okay okay. Done done done ! yay ! Retardo pictures. I heart my baby ! <33 again ="(">

Bored. Im supposed to be in school but i`m not. Mommy woke me up late and i told her i didnt wanna go school =D

Doing my food&nutrition coursework now. Hopefully i can get it done by monday ;x MYE(s) are next week and i still dont feel the need to study. Boo ! Hahas. Fuck luhs. I should have just gone to ite and not waste my time in secondary school because in the end, i still will end up there. Hais. Fucked up life im living now.

Boy, you dont know what is happening to me after you`ve left. My life is in a total mess. When you came in, my life was whole, now that you`ve left, i really dont know what to do. I have no one to share my problems with. You dont know how much i need you, you really dont seem to know. Even if i get into a new r/s with another boy, in the end, i still feel you`re the one i love afterall and they`re all replacements of you. Baby, why did you haf to do this to me? Imagine how happy we would have been.. if she hadnt come along. You`ve cheat me once, you`ve cheated me twice, yet, i could still forgive and even ask you back. I know there are chances you would cheat me thrice.. so on & forth, but cant you see, i am fcuking willing to go through all pains just to be with you. Do you know how much hurts you have put me through? Before we got tgt, i was alrdy hurt by you, when we were tgt, i was also hurt by you, even when we`re not tgt, im still constantly hurt by you. Tell me why this is so? If I told you once, I told you twice, You can see it in my eyes.I'm all cried out, With nothing to say. You're everything I wanted to be. If you could only see, Your heart belongs to me. I love you so much, I'm yearning for your touch.Come and set me free, Forever yours I'll be, Baby won't you come and take this pain away ? Boys come in & out of my life, i admit there are one or two whom i`ve developed feelings for, but yet, when i think what is it i like about them, den i see that its because the way they speak and their actions are exactly like yours. Boy are you happy with your life now? Cant you look back and see someone waiting for you at the corner? Hais. I really love you so much, when will you see this ? Tell me why up till this day, im still crying for you ? Sighh.. Baby, you really dont see it dont you?


I miss the times we had. I really dont want this to be the end.

Woots ! I`m finally back home from school. Went to TUAS today. Stupid bus uncle anyhow drive, sit the bus till my butt almost split into 2 luhs ! Went to the incineration thingy. Boring like fcuk. Hahs. Slept on the way back home and afterwhich bus-ed home. Hahs.

Anyhoos, im single again. Attached for 5 days and thats the end. We are counted as bf gf or not, i also dont know. All i know is he asked me to be his gf, and i agreed to try out only. Anyways, i did not put any feelings or so into this r/s so i aint affected. ;D Guys are bastards ! Thats all i can say. =D

Alrights, i dont know wad to type anymore. Haha. I came here to update for the sake of updating. =x Haha. Anyone wanna bring me go shopping? ;( Hahs

Ohh. And i love this girl.

She bought me my favourite Marks and Spencer sweets luhs ! And also all my favourite breadtalk bread ! I love you baby! Mwahhhh ! ;DDD Siewhwee is the sex ! Hahaha

Aites, im done now. Sayos ! ;D

I still miss you boy. ;x

Did not go to school today as i am sick. Went to the doctor in the morning with mommy. Hahs. I dont like to go to the doctor alone because firstly, i dont know how to tell him whats wrong with me, and secondly, im afraid ! Hahs.

Finally, a day whereby i can rest the whole day. Exams are approaching next week and the best thing is i only knew it ytd. ;x Hahs.

My love life is fucking complicated. Fucking fucking complicated. Thats all i can say. Sorry to those who i`ve hurt. Im really sorry. I just cannot put my past with him behind me. I really cant. Pple say, '拿得起 放得下' but its really not that easy afterall. Arghs.

Got this from my sister`s blog.

True love is when you shed a tear and still want him.
It's when he ignores you and you still love him.
It's when he loves another but you still smile and say "I'm happy for you."


When all you really do is cry.... and cry..

He cheated on me twice. I shed lotsa tears for him. I told myself to hate him, but yet, deep down in my heart, i know how much i want him back. At times, he ignores me but yet, i know i still love him. I just cant bring myself to hate him. Even at this point of time, when he loves another, i stand at one corner and pretend im alright, im happy. But all i really do is just cry. Hais. I really fucking miss you boy.

Read back on my archives, and i saw this.

'Hais..Quarrelled with hubby yesterday. Made him cry. Omg..never would i think that he would shed his tears for me. Made him cry today again and he cried untill my pillow became so wet. Hais.. Sorry baby. I will cherish you and you know i need you alot, you`re my bolster, i cant sleep without you and i always need you to be there for me. Remember what you said to me? you said ' Today, on saturday, 12.24am, i promise you i will take care of you forever and dont let anyone bully you'. You must do what you`ve promised and take care of me ok? I dont want any other pple to be taking care of me, i only want you..i only want you to stand up for me when others bully me. Okay dear? Dont do stupid things and get yourself in trouble. I really will not know what to do should anything bad happen to you. You are already half of my life, without you, my life wouldnt be whole. I need you alot, you are my life, my soul and my boy! x) Hehe'

You promised me you would take care of me forever and not let anyone bully me. What happened to that promise? Hais. Whos gonna stand up for me now that you`re gone? Whos gonna take care of me now? Why did you have to break your promise? Cant you see what you`re putting me through? I thought you said you would never leave me? Why lie to me baby? You are killing my heart day by day.

是什么让你爱上了她 , 难道她比我对你好吗 ?
我爱你,你却爱着她, 我都为你心都碎了
是不是只有忘记我自己 , 我的泪才不会如雨下 ?
你曾想过我的感受 , 这样对我公平吗 ?

Fuck up. I miss you !

Im sick ! Fuck. I`ve never felt so terrible in my whole life before. My whole body is breaking apart and i feel like im gonna collapse anytime. School was horrible today because i was feeling damn terrible and all i did today was complain, complain and complain to my dear friends ! ;x Hahs. Cabbed home and whats worst was that i was drenched in the heavy rain. Poor sammie right?! ;(

Sigh, how i wish i could have the past back, whereby whenever im sick, he would cover me with layers and layers of blanket and even lie on top of me and hug me just because i said i was cold and just so i could feel his warmth. No matter how hot & stuffy he felt lying under the blanket with me, he never complained and even hugged me. Hais. I really miss you so much boy. When are you gonna come back and take care of me like you used to do? I dont need any other guys in my life except you. What must i do to show you how much i need you by my side? I may look happy, flirting like nobody`s buisness, but one thing you dont know is how much i yearn for you inside, and how lonely i feel without you. Dont you miss all the crazy things we used to do tgt? Dont you miss disturbing me when im sleeping? Do u rmb the time when u woke me up when i was damn tired and i just sat on the bed and scream non-stop and u let me back to sleep? Hais. I really miss the times whereby you watch your tv as i lay on ur lap to sleep, and u would give me gentle pecks on my cheeks & lips or run your fingers through my hair. I miss the times whereby you would ask me to accompany you to 401 at retardo hours just because you were hungry and wanted to eat SPLING chicken. I just miss everything about you boy. When are you gonna come back to me? I dont wanna play waiting games with you anymore because u dont know what you are putting my heart through.

..Im going to lie on the bed to rest now. =) I miss you boy. I really do. Everything here is what i`ve been wanting to say. There is more, but if i continue, it would never end. ;x

Alrightys. Good night people.

Im f-u-c-k-i-n-g tired ! I could have slept more but mommy woke me up at 5plus to eat. So i just woke up luhs ! If not i would not be able to sleep again tonight. Haha.

Went to vivocity with Sky ytd. We walked ard vivocity and afterwhich headed to Habourfront Centre because that silly boy wanna eat pastamania. (-____-") I watched him eat and stacy & calista came over to find me. After eating, sky & us headed seperate ways. Meet xuebs & co before heading to her party at some condo. =D The food was great ! Haha. I drank chivas, damn nice luhs ! I helped pammie, mel and sylvia drink theirs because they said the alcohol content very high, they cannot take it. But when i drank it, it wasnt even high ! (-____-") I was damn full after all the drinking. Haha. Stayed at the party till around 10 plus. Was supposed to head to rebekah`s chalet but we had a change of plans. Instead, i headed to town with baby to catch a movie. We caught '200pounds beauty'. Damn touching and funny ! I rate it 4.5/5 stars luhs ! ;D Definitely worth the money. =)

Before the movie started, we went to meet marcus. He has changed alot and i mean really alot. One thing that hasnt changed is that he still like to check my hp. Hahs. I caught him looking at my smses but i pretended i did not see anything. Haha. I told him i had a bf and i even proved it to him. He did not have a reaction, but i could see something from his face and it was something i wished to see. Its not revenge im taking here uhs ! -.- I guess that even though both of us may seem to be moving on, but somehow, there is something there btwn both of us. Deep down, i know i still love him alot, and i know he will always take a big part of my heart and i hope that likewise, he also loves me but just that he isnt aware. I rmb once, when we were still tgt, he asked me if he thinks we would get married. And i answered him 'We may get married next time but in between, we sure have others entering our life, just that, in the future, we may just feel we love each other the most and maybe get married' and this may be just wad is happening now. We are both having others enter our lives. I dont know how to say luhs but whenever me & him talk, i just feel that there is something special in btwn us ! Arghs. Dont know how say ! Haha. I cant forget all the crazy shits we used to do. ;x

Anyways, after the movie, headed back to hougang. Sat NR6 and i was damn tired. I wonder how many people saw my panties because i`m sure i wasnt sleeping very graciously! (-____-") Hahs. Baby and I met desmond at hg and we headed to MAC to eat. Ate hotcakes again and i heart hotcakes ! ;P Haha. Talked awhile and i headed home by cab. Waste of $$ because my hse is damn near. Lols. Played comp for awhile before i KO-ed all the way till 5plus today. =)

Anyhoos, pictures pictures. ;D





All the pictures taken at the party ! Haha. I didnt take pictures with the others cos im not really close to them. ;x

All the pictures taken while on the train to cineleisure and pictures taken @ cine. =D


Fucking shag me after getting off the bus. My hair is messy, my make up is smudged. Haha. ;x

Alrightys, im done updating. ;D Is the font better? As in easier to read? Hahs.

** This new song in my blog is for u mister foo toon cheng ! Listen to the fucking lyrics ok ! ;x

I guess i still cant put everything down.

I cant stop e-a-t-i-n-g ! Arghs. Someone take all the fucking food away from me luhs ! Haha. Anyways, im fucking glad that he is fine. =DDD But still, some matters of the heart is still left unsettled ;(

pls tell me what you want now. Why tell me you like me and do this to me now? Don’t make me believe, That we can be more than friends, cause at the end of it all, i don’t wanna hear u say, That, ” I’m sorry!”, which is what you did. Arghs. Fuck the love matters of my heart cause its all in a big mess. Booya ! >;(

Im gonna go watch tv now. Bye bye



Now who is gonna dote on me after you`ve left?

Im @ school now rotting my ass away. There`s chemistry & biology practical exam today and i have not studied a single fuck. May god bless me and allah sing song to me ;x

I cant concentrate in sch today bcos i keep looking at my fucking hp to check if he has msged me. Arghs. And i have not received any msg ! My mind is going haywire alrdy luhs ! I can advise pple on wad to do, but i just cant advise myself. 12+ is coming and i hope i recieve his msg to know that he is fine. Just that will do, nothing else more. I see myself hanging in there, but yet, i also see myself letting go. I really dont know what he wants luhs. I dont understand why is it tht when i love/like someone, i dun get them but when to those tht i dun like/love, they keep coming in non-stop. Fuckit ! >;(

Anyways, i really hope nothing happens to him luhs ! ;x

Alrights, im getting kinda lazy to blog now. Might update again later or smth. Im in serious need slp even though i might be slping so fucking early at 10pm everyday. Haha. ;p Booya!

May god bless tht nothing happens to him.

Someone pls slap me and tell me wad i should do ! ;x Humpf !

Tired day full of non-stop eating & sleeping action ! Omg. I think im pregnant or something. The amount i ate today, woo.. SCARYYY ! Haha.

Went out with jerry again ytd. He likes to smell my hair and look @ my eyes. Wierdo ! Haha. ;x I scared diannn si ni luhs ! Lols. Slacked at AMK with him & his bros & some girls. I forgot all their names luhs. STM ! hahs. After that headed to some country club to play pool. I didnt play cos i dont know how to. I played HP games till i got tired and afterwhich, zoomed home and i plopped onto bed and slept like a dead lobster all the way till morning. Hahs. And i must make a note to myself, and that is not to wear shorts when sitting his bike cos i keep scratching myself luhs ! There`s this particular scratch on my leg that hurts like fuck when it comes into contact with water or sweat luhs ! Boo! >;( Hahs.

Was supposed to head to town with rae, zhu, huimin, angela, hilda and baby today but me and baby backed out in the end cos by the time we prepare and stuffs, those idiots would be leaving town. Hahs. The worst thing is that i was all dolled up and ready to go and i backed out. (-_____-") I removed my make up, plopped on the bed and KO ! Hahs.

Got woken up by mommy . Shared curry rice with mommy ! And now im here digesting some food before i head to bed again ! Im seriously deprieved of slp this few days. Arghs. I hate feeling oh-so-tired in school and yet im not able to slp in class. Gonna run 2.4 tmrw and thus, i need to sleep early to replenish my energy. Right right? hahs. There f&n tmrw also and i guess im dead. I still have so much more to do and im always so lazy to do it. Someone pls give me a hard kick and wake me up ?

Im so tired. I hope i will fall sick, get into a coma or something so i can get all the slp i need. Hahaha. ;p


Buy me a pkt of 'Extremely Chocolatey Caramel from Marks & Spencer pls ? *Pouts !

hahs. Alrights, im outzxzxz ! Sayonara. ;P

Just came back from school. Skipped napfa test because im damn tired ! Hahs. Gonna head to bed after updating this shit. ;D

Went to vivocity with my most beloved ytd. She was mad & high on drugs, kept going crazy ! hahs. Went to topshop to walk ard and basically walk ard the whole of vivocity. Ate @ food republice and afterwhich, we headed to the arcade to play. Hahs. Play air hockey and we kept screaming! It was so fun ! And baby, im better @ air hockey den u ! U lousy shxt ! No kick playing with you ! Hahaha. =P After that, we played donno wad 'lets go jungle' or smth, and we played barely for 5 minutes and we died ! Thats how PRO we are luhs ! Hehs. Met Sky for awhile and i left w/o him ! Hahs. Headed home after that and jerry asked me out for a spin. I almost lost my balls while on his bike cause he rode so fast ! Hahs. But it was damn fun luhs ! Went to punggol beach to talk cock sing song and headed home after tht ! Hehs. =D So fun luhsss ! But tht resulted in me being fucking tired in school today. ;( Booya ! Hehs

// I know i`ve done smth u cant forgive. Now that you`ve told me you liked me, im at a lost cause i dont know what to do. I said i would change my ways, but are you looking at my changes? If you dont like me anymore, pls tell me cause it hurts when i talk to you and you give me the cold shoulder . I admit i do like you a little but pls tell me wad you`re thinking now so i wont fall deeper. I miss the times when you dote and care for me so much. =)



I want my bed now ! Humpf !

Nitey nite world. Imma sleep like a dead lobsterrr ! ;D teeheehee

Booya ! Its a friday and im stuck @ home rotting my ass away. Siewhwee has got camp today and crush cant come out @ night. Boo ;( Guess i`ll just hafta stay home and do my f&n coursework den. Arghs.

Im was damn pissed off with Miss.G in sch today. I dont see why she had to keep forcing me to go for math tution. I know my math is damn lousy but no point forcing me to do things i dont like bcos it wont help. And the more im forced, the more i`ll rebel. Anyways, she caught my lip stud and asked me to throw away. I was so fucking pissed i scold her ' fuck lah, nabei cheebye' and walked off. There goes my 7 bucks again! Arghs. Now, i only haf a dumb earstick in my mouth & i hope it wont fall off when im slping tonight. ;D

Oh, i found smth on the web which i think is damn true.

Guys, realise that the gal holding on to you is PERFECT in their own special way.
The way she laughs
The way she sleeps
The way she loves you
The way she tries to please you
ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT, she can always walk away,
getting someone else who can love her more.
for all you know, there is someone out there after her,
but she's rejecting, maybe a more perfect love for her.
There might also be someone out there, who is willing to love her more than you do,
fulfil her every needs and love her as much as she loves you.
UNDERSTAND that she loves you not because
you are good looking
you buy her things
you have got the money
make her parents happy
you have a car.
she loves you for who you are
your every touch
every word you say
and everything you do

GUYS, cherish and appreciate your girl. Don't break her fragile heart.
she is the only one who can love you in that special way. you won't wana regret letting go of that special girl you have. For everything that she has done for you, the least you can do is to give her that unconditional love that she has given to you



So true aint it? Hahs.

;x Imma head to bed now. Im damn sleepy. =D

Had sports day today. Boring like hell. Cant believe i could fall alseep even with all the cheering & screaming going on. Haha. Went to eat breakfast with my bitches in the morning and we purposly went late for the sports meet. Got caught by the fat bitch, and we had to stay back after the entire event to clear the rubbish. Arghs, made us into bangalas ! Hahs. Went crazy with crush and we took many retarded photos. Shall upload them after im done talking. ;D

After the entire thing, came back home. Crush came to my hse and bathed as we were going out tgt. After dolling up and stuffs, we headed to cineleisure to meet Mr Er.Lang.Shen ! Ate yoshinoya before heading to far east. While walking there, it rained dragons&dinosaurs, rhinos&hippos,cats&dogs, rabbits&mice and bugs&worms ! Haha. Shopped ard before settling down @ BK to slack. Took loads of pictures again and afterwhich, we headed home ;P Boring and tired day but owells, i enjoyed myself with my bitch !

Here are the pictures. ;x Fucking alot.

At the stadium during sports day !

Snap Snap Snap ! We were damn bored. And i know i look horrible w/o make up ;x

Boo! Hahs. And my sch uniform plus shirt was damn big luhs ! Haha. ;x

My messy hair. Chew hse rocks ya momma`s ass. ;D

At my hse preparing to go out

Haha. I know theres a big diff when i put make up and dont. But thats the miracle of making up ! ;)

All the pictures taken @ town

Haha. All the craziness ;D

And lastly, me myself and I ! ;D

Haha. Alrights. Thats all. ;D

Sometimes, i really regret things i do. Lotsa problems, no one to turn to. Hais. 7 days for me to change. Jiayou ! ;x

Alrights, Bye bye. ;x